Quotes by Woody Allen
27 quotes by Woody Allen
Woody Allen - american film director, writer, actor, jazz musician, comedian and playwright
Was born on 01 dec 1935.
Origin country: United States
Born again? ! No, I'm not. Excuse me for getting it right the first time.
Quote by Woody Allen about opinion, rightness, time
I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
Quote by Woody Allen about death
I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.
Quote by Woody Allen about politics
I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Quote by Woody Allen about faith, change, life
I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Quote by Woody Allen about humor, laughter
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Quote by Woody Allen about parents
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Quote by Woody Allen about education, teachers, school
If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.
Quote by Woody Allen about humor, people
If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.
Quote by Woody Allen about humor, bankers, name, god
I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
Quote by Woody Allen about humor, good, good luck
In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
Quote by Woody Allen about wife, heads, home, house
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.
Quote by Woody Allen about life, solitude, suffering
Man consists of two parts, his mind and his body, only the body has more fun.
Quote by Woody Allen about people, body, mind, man
Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
Quote by Woody Allen about humor, plumbers, god
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent the evening with an insurance salesman?
Quote by Woody Allen about humor, death, things, life
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Quote by Woody Allen about sex, good, good luck
