Murphy's laws about Medicine, page 5

94 quotes by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Edward A. Murphy Engineer working on Air Force Project MX981

The simplest Protocol Directive will be worded in the most obscure and complicated manner possible. Speeds, for example, will be expressed as Furlongs per Fortnight and flow rates as Hogsheads per Hour.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Those who can't do, teach.

Those who can't do, teach.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Those who can neither do nor teach, evaluate.

Those who can neither do nor teach, evaluate.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

As the seriousness of any given injury increases, the...

As the seriousness of any given injury increases, the availability of light to examine that injury decreases.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The amount of space which is needed to work on a patient...

The amount of space which is needed to work on a patient varies inversely with the amount of space which is available to work on that patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The number of distraught and uncooperative relatives surrounding any given patient varies exponentially with the seriousness of the patient's illness or injury.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The weight of the patient that you are about to transport increases by the square of the sum of the number of floors which must be ascended to reach the patient plus the number of floors which must be descended while carrying the patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Any bystander who offers you help will give you none.

Any bystander who offers you help will give you none.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Always assume that any Physician found at the scene of an...

Always assume that any Physician found at the scene of an emergency is a Gynecologist, until proven otherwise.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Any Ambulance, whether it is responding to a call or traveling to a Hospital, with Lights and Siren, will be totally ignored by all motorists, pedestrians, and dogs which may be found in or near the roads along its route.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

A virtually infinite number of wide-eyed and inquisitive school-aged children can climb into the back of any Ambulance, and, given the opportunity, invariably will.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The true value of any rookie EMT, when expressed numerically, will always be a negative number. The value of this number may be found by simply having the rookie grade his or her ability on a scale from 1 to 10.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

As soon as an EMS Rule is accepted as absolute, an...

As soon as an EMS Rule is accepted as absolute, an exception to that Rule will immediately occur.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

You're doing the: Only 27 more minutes of the shift from...

You're doing the: Only 27 more minutes of the shift from hell happy-dance, only to turn around to see your supervisor standing there.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

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