Your social skills will be lacking, if all your anecdotes deal with blood.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Murphy's laws about Medicine, page 4
94 quotes by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Assume every female between 6 and 106 is pregnant until proven otherwise.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Don't place bets on the glucose level of an unresponsive patient.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
You cannot institute a surcharge for unruly or surly patients.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
It is not necessary to have a pet name for your cardiac monitor.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
As long as stupidity remains epidemic, you have job security.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Don't worry about the gunshot wound as much as dealing with the family.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
All emergency calls will wait until you begin to eat, regardless of the time.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Any instrument, when dropped, will always come to rest in the least accessible place possible.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The distance of the call from the Hospital increases as the time to shift change decreases.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Assume that all field personnel are idiots until their actions prove your assumption.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
If you respond to any Motor Vehicle Accident call after Midnight and do not find a drunk on the scene, keep looking: somebody is still missing.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Any patient, when given the option of either going to Jail or going to the Hospital by a Police Officer, will always be inside the Ambulance before you are.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Any patient who chooses to go to Jail instead of the Hospital has probably been in my rig in the past.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Given the opportunity, any Dispatcher will be only too happy to tell you where to go, regardless of whether or not she actually knows where that may be.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
In any accident, the degree of injury suffered by a patient is inversely proportional to the amount and volume of agonized screaming produced by that patient.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Any injury, the sight of which makes you want to puke, should immediately be covered by 4x4's and Kerlix.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
