When you need the money, your shift is cancelled; when you have a weekend planned, you have to do overtime.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Murphy's laws about Medicine
94 quotes by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
A 500 pound patient needs all care, while your 80 pound patient needs a finger dressing and your colleague has a bad back.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
It's you're first night shift for three years. And it's a full moon.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
In a critical situation, the most highly qualified clinician will offer the most advice and the least support.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The absurdity of the suggestion is directly proportional to the distance from the bedside.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
As soon as you finish a thirty minute dressing the doctor will come in, and take a look at the wound.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The disoriented patient always comes from a Nursing Home whose beautiful paperwork has no phone number on it.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Your nose will itch the very moment your gloved hands get contaminated with bodily fluids.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The patient who has been dying all night finally meets his maker 12.5 minutes before shift change.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The doctor with the worst handwriting and most original use of the English Language will be responsible for your most critical patient.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
You always remember just one more thing you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Staffing will gladly send you three aides - but you have to float two of your RNs.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.
EQuote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
