When you need the money, your shift is cancelled; when you have a weekend planned, you have to do overtime.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Murphy's laws about Medicine
94 quotes by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Edward A. Murphy Engineer working on Air Force Project MX981
A 500 pound patient needs all care, while your 80 pound patient needs a finger dressing and your colleague has a bad back.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
It's you're first night shift for three years. And it's a full moon.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
In a critical situation, the most highly qualified clinician will offer the most advice and the least support.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The absurdity of the suggestion is directly proportional to the distance from the bedside.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
As soon as you finish a thirty minute dressing the doctor will come in, and take a look at the wound.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The disoriented patient always comes from a Nursing Home whose beautiful paperwork has no phone number on it.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Your nose will itch the very moment your gloved hands get contaminated with bodily fluids.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The patient who has been dying all night finally meets his maker 12.5 minutes before shift change.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The doctor with the worst handwriting and most original use of the English Language will be responsible for your most critical patient.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
You always remember just one more thing you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Staffing will gladly send you three aides - but you have to float two of your RNs.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.
Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
