You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
As soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Ten seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed bath and changing the bed, the patient has a giant code brown.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
If a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain three.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Your buddies who were reading the paper at the nurses' desk a minute ago always disappear when you need help.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Expect to get your pay raise the same day the hospital raises the parking rates and other charges.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The amount of clean linen available is inversely proportional to your immediate needs.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The more confused and impulsive a patient is, the less chance there is for a family member or friend to sit with the patient.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The perfect nurse for the job will apply the day after that post is filled by some semi qualified idiot.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
If only one solution can be found for a problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
When the nurse on the preceding shift has surrounded the patient with absorbent pads, the code brown will hit every sheet and miss every pad.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
Rest assured that when you are in a hurry, the nurse's notes have not been written.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
When you are starting an IV on an uncooperative patient, or dealing with a huge code brown, there is a phone call for you and it's that crabby physician that you have been paging all morning.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
The first person in line when the clinic opens will not require urgent care. The sickest person will arrive 5 minutes before closing: I thought I'd feel better.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
You do the: Just discharged the Patient from Hell dance only to turn around and find the Consultant Neuro-Psychiatrist looking at you like you're their next patient.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine
You may not install a car catcher on the front of the ambulance.Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine