Quotes about Medicine, page 4

117 quotes about Medicine

A good tape job will fix almost anything.

A good tape job will fix almost anything.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Yuppies involved in accidents complain how bumpy the...

Yuppies involved in accidents complain how bumpy the ambulance ride is.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

It's not a compliment when Policemen say you're crude, ...

It's not a compliment when Policemen say you're crude, crass & cynical.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The severity of the injury is directly proportional to...

The severity of the injury is directly proportional to the weight of the patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Turret mounted machine guns usually work better than...

Turret mounted machine guns usually work better than lights and sirens.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Schedule your days off to avoid working during full...

Schedule your days off to avoid working during full phases of the Moon.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

There is no such thing as a textbook case.

There is no such thing as a textbook case.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

You've come to conclude 90% of all drunks are a waste of...

You've come to conclude 90% of all drunks are a waste of protoplasm.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Never refer to someone in respiratory distress as a Smurf.

Never refer to someone in respiratory distress as a Smurf.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Automatically multiply by 3 the number of drinks they...

Automatically multiply by 3 the number of drinks they claim to have had.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Your social skills will be lacking, if all your anecdotes...

Your social skills will be lacking, if all your anecdotes deal with blood.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Assume every female between 6 and 106 is pregnant until...

Assume every female between 6 and 106 is pregnant until proven otherwise.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Get very, very scared when a child is too quiet.

Get very, very scared when a child is too quiet.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Don't place bets on the glucose level of an unresponsive...

Don't place bets on the glucose level of an unresponsive patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

You cannot institute a surcharge for unruly or surly...

You cannot institute a surcharge for unruly or surly patients.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

It is not necessary to have a pet name for your cardiac...

It is not necessary to have a pet name for your cardiac monitor.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

As long as stupidity remains epidemic, you have job...

As long as stupidity remains epidemic, you have job security.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Don't worry about the gunshot wound as much as dealing...

Don't worry about the gunshot wound as much as dealing with the family.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

All emergency calls will wait until you begin to eat, ...

All emergency calls will wait until you begin to eat, regardless of the time.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Any instrument, when dropped, will always come to rest in...

Any instrument, when dropped, will always come to rest in the least accessible place possible.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

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