Quotes about Medicine, page 2

You walk out of a patient's room after you've asked them if they need anything: they will put the call bell on as you are about three quarters the way down the hall.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The patient furthest away from the nurses' station rings the call bell more often than the patient nearest to the nurses' station.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The doctor with the worst handwriting and most original use of the English Language will be responsible for your most critical patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

You always remember just one more thing you need after you've gowned, gloved, and masked and gone into that isolation room.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The correct depth of compression in adult CPR is a bit less than the depth you just reached when you broke those ribs.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

When you cancel extra staff because it's so quiet, you are guaranteed a rash of admissions.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

If you wear a new white uniform, expect to be thrown up on.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

When management smiles at you, be very, very afraid.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Staffing will gladly send you three aides--but you have to float two of your RNs.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

As soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Ten seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed bath and changing the bed, the patient has a giant code brown.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

If a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain three.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Your buddies who were reading the paper at the nurses' desk a minute ago always disappear when you need help.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Expect to get your pay raise the same day the hospital raises the parking rates and other charges.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The amount of clean linen available is inversely proportional to your immediate needs.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine