Quotes by Woody Allen about Humor

9 quotes by Woody Allen about humor

Woody Allen American film director, writer, actor, jazz musician, comedian and playwright

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of...

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I...

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on...

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent the evening with an insurance salesman?

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the...

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

WQuote by Woody Allen about humor

Last quotes

You shoot my finger, trigger finger, boss finger, Boian... (Anghel Damian)

I’m trying to tell people that I am happy the way I am.... (Kim Ung-Yong)

Everything that men do or think concerns the satisfaction... (Albert Einstein)

I have only two rules which I regard as principles of... (Albert Einstein)

Top quotes

Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the... (William Blake)

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is... (Henry Ford)

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the... (Robert Louis Stevenson)

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. (Samuel Beckett)

Random quotes

The ordinary man with extraordinary power is the chief... (Erich Fromm)

Poetry, it is often said and loudly so, is life's true... (Franz Seraphicus Grillparzer)

To stay at my best, I have to stop talking during the... (Placido Domingo)

If I win the lottery, I'm gonna direct three to four... (Sean Penn)

Christmas carols

Latest Carols:

It Came Upon A Midnight Clear Little Drummer Boy: Come they told me pa rum pum pum pum... It's the most wonderful time of the year: It's the most... I'll Be Home For Christmas: I'll be home for Christmas...

Top Carols:

O little town of bethlehem: O little town of Bethlehem,... What child is this: What Child is this, Who laid to rest... Good king wenceslas: Good King Wenceslas looked out On... O come all ye faithful: O come all ye faithful Joyful and...

Random Carols:

The Wassail Song Here we come a-wassailing Among the... It came upon a midnight clear It came upon a midnight... Have yourself a merry little Christmas Have yourself a... As with Gladness Men of Old As with gladness, men of old...

Authors

Macerate of garlic with honey

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