Quotes by Woody Allen about Humor

9 quotes by Woody Allen about humor

Woody Allen American film director, writer, actor, jazz musician, comedian and playwright

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of...

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I...

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a...

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on...

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever...

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent the evening with an insurance salesman?

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I...

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the...

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

Last quotes

Good, better, best. Never let it rest. 'Til your good is... (Jerome)

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. (Charles Swindoll)

With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts. (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Literary temponaut from the rebellious worlds of man, I... (Dumitru Găleşanu)

Top quotes

Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the... (William Blake)

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is... (Henry Ford)

Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the... (Robert Louis Stevenson)

Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better. (Samuel Beckett)

Random quotes

Very few of the early Italian humanists were really humane (Irving Babbitt)

I began developing the plug-in collection because of... (Robert Patterson)

I don't know what I'm doing, but I'm damn well gonna do it! (Geri Halliwell)

In a desperate situation, only courage and intelligence... (Jean Piaget)

Christmas carols

Latest Carols:

It Came Upon A Midnight Clear Little Drummer Boy: Come they told me pa rum pum pum pum... It's the most wonderful time of the year: It's the most... I'll Be Home For Christmas: I'll be home for Christmas...

Top Carols:

O little town of bethlehem: O little town of Bethlehem,... What child is this: What Child is this, Who laid to rest... Good king wenceslas: Good King Wenceslas looked out On... O come all ye faithful: O come all ye faithful Joyful and...

Random Carols:

The Race that Long in Darkness pined The race that long... Merry Christmas, Darling Greeting cards have all been... Angels from the realms of glory Angels, from the realms... Blue Christmas I'll have a blue Christmas without you....

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