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The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, work, contentment

Rest assured that when you are in a hurry, the nurse's notes have not been written.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, rest, contentment

When you are starting an IV on an uncooperative patient, or dealing with a huge code brown, there is a phone call for you and it's that crabby physician that you have been paging all morning.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

You do the: Just discharged the Patient from Hell dance only to turn around and find the Consultant Neuro-Psychiatrist looking at you like you're their next patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, dance, hell, contentment

Last thing you want to hear a doctor say is whoops.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, things, contentment

You may not install a car catcher on the front of the ambulance.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

The more equipment you see on a EMT's belt, the newer they are.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

You can't cure stupidity.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, stupidity, contentment

Riding shotgun does not mean you shoot the tires of non-yielding vehicles.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

It's not a compliment when Policemen say you're crude, crass & cynical.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

You've come to conclude 90% of all drunks are a waste of protoplasm.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, waste, contentment

You cannot institute a surcharge for unruly or surly patients.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

As long as stupidity remains epidemic, you have job security.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, stupidity, security, contentment

All emergency calls will wait until you begin to eat, regardless of the time.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, time, contentment

If you respond to any Motor Vehicle Accident call after Midnight and do not find a drunk on the scene, keep looking: somebody is still missing.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

Any patient, when given the option of either going to Jail or going to the Hospital by a Police Officer, will always be inside the Ambulance before you are.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, police, contentment

You need it to save a life, or the salesman leaves.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, need, life, contentment

Given the opportunity, any Dispatcher will be only too happy to tell you where to go, regardless of whether or not she actually knows where that may be.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, chance, happiness, contentment

Any injury, the sight of which makes you want to puke, should immediately be covered by 4x4's and Kerlix.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

The weight of the patient that you are about to transport increases by the square of the sum of the number of floors which must be ascended to reach the patient plus the number of floors which must be descended while carrying the patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, numbers, contentment