Search in quotes: quotes+by+edward+a+murphy, page 72

There are demerit points for originality when one is caught.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about originality

If the boss doesn't understand your work they will either ignore it, pretend they did it, or Freak out.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about heads, work

The 10 minutes presentation or video stating everything on how the company caring about you as an employee and as an individual was originally a brilliant April fools joke until a vice president decided that some of the grunts are dumb enough to...

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about joke, vice, companies, faith, contentment

The happiest person in the company cannot ever be trusted.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about happiness, companies, people

If your manager has nothing bad to tell you for too long you will soon need their reference.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about heads, bad luck, need, bad, nothing, contentment

Your current boss is the worst you've ever had until the next one.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about heads, contentment

Free thought is a capital crime.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about crime, criminals, thinking

The most enthusiastic worker doesn't get paid any better than anyone else.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about workers

You will never get fired at the beginning of the day. Your boss will think this is a good thing.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about heads, beginning, things, day, good, good luck, contentment

The more you hate a job and wish to leave the longer you end up staying put.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about hate, wish, end, contentment

The person interviewing you had less than half or your qualifications when they got the job and will want twice what you have.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about man, people, contentment

Losing a job is never as much fun or as dignified as you imagine it.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about contentment

If you bring your voodoo doll/adult magazine or embarrassing cream to work your boss will find it.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about heads, work, contentment

If you get used to thinking screw you after every superior speaks to you you will blurt it out sooner or later. Unless you're a phone sex girl or a stripper people will mind.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about contentment, thinking, sex, mind, people

Being yourself will have to wait until you get home or at least a bar.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about home, being, contentment

The uniform you have to wear was designed by a color blind masochist who likes laughing at those who have to wear it.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about blind, contentment

The more you have to pay for the uniform the less likely you will be to ever wear any piece of it.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about contentment

There will be one photocopier in the office everyone hits in order to make it work. This will be secretly known by most as the best office equipment in the building.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about order, work

Your Boss will always call you, when you aren't at your desk.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about heads, contentment

If you come late to the office, the chances are, your boss is already in his room.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about chance, heads, contentment