Search in quotes: edward+ii, page 51

Automatically multiply by 3 the number of drinks they claim to have had.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, numbers

Your social skills will be lacking, if all your anecdotes deal with blood.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, blood

Assume every female between 6 and 106 is pregnant until proven otherwise.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Get very, very scared when a child is too quiet.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, quiet, children

Don't place bets on the glucose level of an unresponsive patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

You cannot institute a surcharge for unruly or surly patients.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

It is not necessary to have a pet name for your cardiac monitor.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, pets, name

As long as stupidity remains epidemic, you have job security.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, stupidity, security, contentment

Don't worry about the gunshot wound as much as dealing with the family.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, worry, family

All emergency calls will wait until you begin to eat, regardless of the time.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, time, contentment

Any instrument, when dropped, will always come to rest in the least accessible place possible.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, rest

The distance of the call from the Hospital increases as the time to shift change decreases.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, change, time

Emergency calls will randomly come in all at once.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Assume that all field personnel are idiots until their actions prove your assumption.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

If you respond to any Motor Vehicle Accident call after Midnight and do not find a drunk on the scene, keep looking: somebody is still missing.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

Any patient, when given the option of either going to Jail or going to the Hospital by a Police Officer, will always be inside the Ambulance before you are.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, police, contentment

Any patient who chooses to go to Jail instead of the Hospital has probably been in my rig in the past.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, past

You need it to save a life, or the salesman leaves.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, need, life, contentment

Given the opportunity, any Dispatcher will be only too happy to tell you where to go, regardless of whether or not she actually knows where that may be.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, chance, happiness, contentment

In any accident, the degree of injury suffered by a patient is inversely proportional to the amount and volume of agonized screaming produced by that patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine