Search in quotes: edward+ii, page 22

Computer sadism: When the computer causes physical or mental damage to a person and can't receive such a return favor due to management rules.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, rules, people

Computer masochism: When a computer takes all the abuse you think you can give it and continues working as it should.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, contentment

The sound of grinding metal or the sight of smoke coming from a case is a warning that you are trying to do too much with too little.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, smoke, contentment

The survivability of a system is directly proportional to the price of the cooling system applied to it and inversely proportional to the amount of use it sees.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, use

Antivirus systems only effectively work on a virus after given virus has passed its prime.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, work

The most frightening of viruses is the virus you do not know is already there.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, contentment

The amount of damage that a string of code can do is inversely proportional to the length of the string.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers

You only receive instant messaging, when working on a project that's due instantly.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, contentment

When designing a program to handle all possible dumb errors, nature creates a dumber user.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, error, nature

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about irony

It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've done and what you say you're going to do.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about intention, contentment

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about salary, money, end, contentment

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about stupidity, contentment

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about advice, contentment

Eat one live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about advice, commerce, rest, nothing, things, day, contentment

Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about affair, nothing, contentment

When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about heads, talking

If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about advice, use, being, contentment

There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about heads, home

Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about mother, day