Search in quotes: murphy, page 49

When management smiles at you, be very, very afraid.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

Staffing will gladly send you three aides - but you have to float two of your RNs.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

As soon as you discontinue the IV line, more fluids will be ordered.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

Mandatory meetings are always scheduled after you've had the night from hell and just want to go home to bed.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, meetings, hell, night, home, contentment

You always forget what it was you wanted after you get to the supply room. You always remember when you get back to the other end.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment, end

Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, name

Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the Boss is watching.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about success, failure, heads

As soon as you've ordered the pizzas, 25 patients show up at the ER registration desk along with three ambulances all with cardiac arrests!

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

Ten seconds after you have finished giving a complete bed bath and changing the bed, the patient has a giant code brown.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment

If a patient needs four pills, the packet will contain three.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Your buddies who were reading the paper at the nurses' desk a minute ago always disappear when you need help.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, help, need, contentment

Expect to get your pay raise the same day the hospital raises the parking rates and other charges.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, day

The better job you do, the more work you can expect to be handed.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, work, contentment

The amount of clean linen available is inversely proportional to your immediate needs.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The more confused and impulsive a patient is, the less chance there is for a family member or friend to sit with the patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, chance, family

The perfect nurse for the job will apply the day after that post is filled by some semi qualified idiot.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, perfection, day

If only one solution can be found for a problem, then it is usually a stupid solution.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about problems, medicine

When the nurse on the preceding shift has surrounded the patient with absorbent pads, the code brown will hit every sheet and miss every pad.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

Rest assured that when you are in a hurry, the nurse's notes have not been written.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, rest, contentment

When you are starting an IV on an uncooperative patient, or dealing with a huge code brown, there is a phone call for you and it's that crabby physician that you have been paging all morning.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, contentment