Quotes about Humor by Woody Allen

Woody Allen American film director, writer, actor, jazz musician, comedian and playwright

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent the evening with an insurance salesman?

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

Quote by Woody Allen about humor