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The chance of a virus infecting your network is directly proportional to the amount of damage it does.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, chance

The probability of forgetting your password is directly proportional to the frequency of changing it.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, forgetness

The amount of time taken to successfully complete a software project is in direct proportion to the amount of Marketing input.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, time

The probability of bugs appearing is directly proportional to the number and importance of people watching.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, numbers, people

The survivability of a system is directly proportional to the price of the cooling system applied to it and inversely proportional to the amount of use it sees.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about computers, use

A meeting's length will be directly proportional to the boredom the speaker produces.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about meetings, boredom

Proximity factor: The need for relief is directly related to the distance of the relief station.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about war, need

Failure of plan A will directly affect your ability to carry out plan B.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about war, failure, ability

Tear gas works on cops too, and regardless of wind direction, will always blow back in your face.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about police, face

If you drive your patrol car to the geometric center of the Gobi Desert, within five minutes some dumb civilian will pull along side you and ask for directions.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about police, contentment

The likelihood that you are speaking to an undercover law enforcement officer, is directly proportional to the number of personal questions being asked of you.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about police, numbers, law, being, contentment

The number of years on the job is directly proportional to your waistline.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about police, numbers

The number of people who lock their keys in their car is directly proportional to how bad the weather is.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about police, weather, numbers, bad luck, bad, people

The further away the call is into the sticks directly relates to the likelihood you will need a restroom after you are back in service.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about police, need, contentment

The absurdity of the suggestion is directly proportional to the distance from the bedside.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The severity of the injury is directly proportional to the weight of the patient.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine

The simplest Protocol Directive will be worded in the most obscure and complicated manner possible. Speeds, for example, will be expressed as Furlongs per Fortnight and flow rates as Hogsheads per Hour.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about medicine, example

When there is a very long road upon which there is a one-way bridge placed at random, and there are only two cars on that road, it follows that: the two cars are going in opposite directions, and they will always meet at the bridge.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about cars

On a two lane road, no cars will come from the opposite direction where the lanes are divided by a white line. However, as soon as it's allowed to bypass, the opposite lane is jammed.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about cars

The first bus from your route will always appear first in the opposite direction.

Quote by Edward A. Murphy about cars